boyinakage
from chaos comes clarity
general ftm gripe #378.9: HAIR
bisexual so i was driving down the road today, and i totally forgot what i was doing for a minute. my throat was sort of itchy, so i scratched it. well, that area under my chin gets itchy too, and then, i forgot that i hadn't shaved today. so there i am, sitting at a stop light, pissed because i forgot my razor-training this morning. i normally shave on a daily basis...to promote the growth...but fuck did i forget this time. now i don't know about you...but i'm just as hairy as the next girl. well, ftm...i don't know...let's put it this way: i'm somewhere between boy and woman hairy. so i noticed that my mustache has begun to stubble at the corners of my mouth and also the center under my nose with less notable patches toward the sides of my lips. also, my sideburns are starting to branch out a bit toward my cheeks...not cool. my hair is dyed black. my sideburns come in red...my mustache comes in black...and here's the kicker...my soulpatch is the whitest blonde you've ever seen. it figures, the patch of hair i WANT on my face doesn't even appear to be visible!! oh, and that pesky patch of hair that tries to grow on either side of my chin and down and around to catch the other side....it's attempting to be a beard ala "Norville Rodgers" (aka Shaggy from Scooby Doo). It was damned scary. not only that, but the part under my chin, when i lifted my head up to look in the mirror had sprouted several long reddish hairs over the past week. *sigh*
i got home and dutifully shaved all unwanted hair immediately away. allow me to remind you that i am not on any sort of hormone therapy. and yes, the desire is to be male and to be able to grow facial hair...but jesus on a saltine....i don't need to be sprouting "growths" all over the damned place with no effing explanation as to why they are so effing patchy!
oh well. i'm happy with my sideburns. they grow back from completely shaved off in about a week...but it takes months for the true ultra-scary thickness to happen. since i cut my hair recently, to super-duper short with a fade in the back, i trimmed my badboy burns down so that they weren't overpowering my hair's length. and wouldn't you know, the little bitches are already threatening to take over my entire effing face!
i've been trying to decide for the past few weeks if i want to allow my sideburns to extend to their full potential and allow them to grow over my jawline and to the end of it...where the neck meets jaw...and i don't know if i can make my gee eff suffer through it. it took her a long time to get used to my sideburns back when i just thought i was a genderqueer "boi"...but now that i'm basically nothing short of a modern-day pinocchio (well, except for the apparent lack of actual "wood")...i prefer peter pan..but that causes the mind to wander to michael jackson...
ah, i digress.
what i'm saying is, i am allowing my hair to grow naturally. i'm no longer shaving my legs...this could get tricky in the summer months if i am still stealth around my grandparents and mother around then...and i'm not shaving my armpits either.
which also brings up another salient point: my cousin asked me to be her maid of honor. she's getting married next summer. so do i play it by ear and not tell her anything until i've gotten a therapist and whatever and just hold off on T until the wedding is over...or do i tell her everything now and see if i can just be her "Man of Honor"? i dunno. option 2 sounds better.
with all of the hair problems i've been having as of late...i think it may be best to just stick it out and tell her before i get too deep into this. that's not me asking for advice....advice is only to be asked for when one knows the answer and does not desire to hear it....alas, i just said the truth.
well, tell her it is...but this hair had better get itself under con-effing-trol before i shave it all off and just become a bald hermit.
-kage
i got home and dutifully shaved all unwanted hair immediately away. allow me to remind you that i am not on any sort of hormone therapy. and yes, the desire is to be male and to be able to grow facial hair...but jesus on a saltine....i don't need to be sprouting "growths" all over the damned place with no effing explanation as to why they are so effing patchy!
oh well. i'm happy with my sideburns. they grow back from completely shaved off in about a week...but it takes months for the true ultra-scary thickness to happen. since i cut my hair recently, to super-duper short with a fade in the back, i trimmed my badboy burns down so that they weren't overpowering my hair's length. and wouldn't you know, the little bitches are already threatening to take over my entire effing face!
i've been trying to decide for the past few weeks if i want to allow my sideburns to extend to their full potential and allow them to grow over my jawline and to the end of it...where the neck meets jaw...and i don't know if i can make my gee eff suffer through it. it took her a long time to get used to my sideburns back when i just thought i was a genderqueer "boi"...but now that i'm basically nothing short of a modern-day pinocchio (well, except for the apparent lack of actual "wood")...i prefer peter pan..but that causes the mind to wander to michael jackson...
ah, i digress.
what i'm saying is, i am allowing my hair to grow naturally. i'm no longer shaving my legs...this could get tricky in the summer months if i am still stealth around my grandparents and mother around then...and i'm not shaving my armpits either.
which also brings up another salient point: my cousin asked me to be her maid of honor. she's getting married next summer. so do i play it by ear and not tell her anything until i've gotten a therapist and whatever and just hold off on T until the wedding is over...or do i tell her everything now and see if i can just be her "Man of Honor"? i dunno. option 2 sounds better.
with all of the hair problems i've been having as of late...i think it may be best to just stick it out and tell her before i get too deep into this. that's not me asking for advice....advice is only to be asked for when one knows the answer and does not desire to hear it....alas, i just said the truth.
well, tell her it is...but this hair had better get itself under con-effing-trol before i shave it all off and just become a bald hermit.
-kage
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